a little slice

I don’t know what’s worse about this clip, the fact that Dane Cook has become enough of a sell out to host the fuckin’ teen choice awards, or the fact that Kevin Federline performed at the teen choice awards.

word…

so, i just ordered this in hopes of getting a little more back support, and because my other chair’s seat was basically worn down to nothing.

On another note, i’m pretty sure i just stole my neighbors’ cable. I hate Comcast for a lot of reasons, being morons is at the top of the list. Comcast came by to FIX my roommate’s cable the other day, and ended up fixing her cable, and breaking mine, and then my roommate managed to break hers. yeah, that’s nice. So I went outside, and took a look see to see what the problem was. Wow how could you miss this Comcast. The top floor of the apartment is vacant. The first and second floors are occupied. There are three splitters, two in one area, and one on the other side of the house. The one on the opposite side of the house goes to the first floor. Hrm, the other two are for the second and third floor…two cords go to the third floor, and two cords go to the second floor…hrm which ones go where…could it be the ones going into the SECOND FLOOR WINDOW?!?! no, obviously those are the third floor cables…obviously…but maybe if that were their only mistake i’d let it go, but Comcast manages to spice things up a bit. one cord for the 3rd floor was plugged in with one cord for the second floor. yeah that makes fucking sense, SPLIT the cords up…yeah ok…dicks…i switched it back and now everyone’s cable is alive and well.

So I don’t have quite the best relationship with Apple; seeing as how I refuse to buy their computers, and had to replace my ipod 8 months into its existence. I don’t know what I hate about Apple more, their horrible fucking commercials, their dickhead staff, or their completely incompatible hardware/software. My first experience with Apple was like a punch in the face from hell.

My ipod had stopped working. It would turn on, import all the songs from my itunes, and then if i tried to update it after that it would malfunction and I would have to reformat to do anything. So i try to take the ipod to my local ipod store (which is 30 minutes away mind you) and of course the idiots at the genius bar have no appointments that day or the next. That’s a great thing to hear, that your troubleshooting tech is full for the next two days, that really makes me want to buy more shit from Apple.

Anyway, so for a while i just took apple’s shit, and sat around with my worthless ipod. Until i came to my senses: i have a one year fucking warranty, apple should be licking my balls and asking for more, if i don’t get a new fucking ipod i will make a scene right here. So i go back. Some hipster dick fuck apple guy talks to me, and says if they have troubleshot my ipod and they see nothing wrong on their computers that’s all they can do. So i test these little douche bags with some logic i ask if i have a brand new computer, and i get that tested, and they say nothing’s wrong, and then i get the cord tested, and nothing’s wrong with that, and since you geniuses test my ipod and say there’s nothing wrong you’re going to tell me that there’s “something” else wrong? what some fucking pixie dust? and it gets better, because the guy says YES that there could be something else wrong…I basically became a squatter and said i would not go until someone did something with my ipod. he said i could wait around at the genius bar if i wanted another opinion. Yeah so i just sat at the genius bar and told him i wasn’t going to be screwed around with anymore…he claims that “apple does not like screwing with people”

Then my knight in shining armour came down with beams of light and the whole shabang. Some tech genius bar guy said, “oh is your ipod not working? are you under warranty? ok well just sign these papers, and here’s a new one.” WOO MOTHER FUCKIN WHOOO bitches!!! so there’s my brand new ipod..

fastforward about a year. My year old ipod is acting up. It just gives me sad ipod face all the time…yeah that’s great…so I bring it in(with an appointment this time) and lo and behold im greeted by some fabulous bald hipster fruit cup that thinks he knows more about tech than i do. He puts the ipod up to his ear, and tells me that it’s probably a hardware problem, well no fucking shit dickhead i can hear the harddrive chugging away too. He says, you can get it repaired, but it will probably be as expensive as getting a new one, so you should get a new one. Then i ask him if im going to have to get a new ipod every year. and he has the audacity to say, well not necesarrily, if you had gotten the procare you could have gotten this repaired…oh im sorry i didn’t know that i had to pay 60$ on top of the 399$ price tag, because your product is designed to break…yeah ok…so from my previous endeavors with apple, i noticed this douche wasn’t a tech bar guy and i ask him if he even works at the genius bar, he says no, but he can “handle” ipods. I said i’d wait around until a real tech bar employee came. He rolled his eyes, and said yeah well fine you’re going to have to wait two hours…yeah ok apple…

two hours of dicking around at the mall, finally get back give it to the tech guy, he goes in the back diddles with some cords for about 5 seconds, boom ipod is fixed no charge…yeah i <3 the tech bar…so final message: never deal with the dickhead sales people, and if you have this  ipod and it starts sad ipoding you, try get the tech guys to do a little fiddling before you shell out 399$ for a new guy.