a little slice

so i finally got to health services-jamie, you should be okay, unless you made out with me at some point while i was unconscious lol. remember during the trip i was always whining about the cuts in my mouth?! apparently one of them got infected and is trying to kill me. I blame NJ and HoJo.

Today was slightly…hectic…torturous…I first went to RCC training then to health services then back to RCC CFA (computing first aid-where all these people plop down computers with no problem, they just don't even want to TRY to set them up themselves, because god why do something yourself when someone else can do it?) then to SI training. Before the shitty part, the awesome part, Zhao Laoshi (my chinese professor from last YEAR who will be my professor for this YEAR as well) hugged me today, and she is one of those wicked cute little asian ladies who is awkward (and invites us to dinner at her apartment) and she goes, “I saw your face on the class list and I was so happy!” but she says happy not like happy it's like hep-eee haha i love her.

so we get our class lists printed out with the pictures of the students next to them. of course i know what's going to happen, but still you're never really ready for it. and soon enough there you are smiling up at me. and you know, just to make it a little worse, you actually look really fucking good in your id picture. so instead of paying attention i stare at your picture all day. then i think about how to deface it. and you're the second person on the page too. and i can't stop looking. or wanting for that matter, which is really weird, because we don't even talk anymore, not even a little, and when we do, it's really perfunctory and really blasé. we used to talk tho, right? remember, when you'd see how long you could hold out? or how you said I was tempting you by being online. or the sleepless nights, and the unfinished assignments.

i guess anyone is suitable for you now.

so i'm going to the first year coffee thing now. also, i'm being given a re-birth in the sense that since i missed/didn't go to orientation the first year i was here, all my friends who are know mentors or RA's are taking me around with them lolz ftw.

i wasn't part of orientation. tonight's the night where people cheer and jump in the lake and act generally stupid. i didn't do it my first year. i do remember what i was doing that day though.

i want.

nothing in particular is making me think that i'm fucked-but there's just this ominous monkey that is about to incite the wrath of God upon me…

i am still dying-sorry Jamie, pretty sure i have mono or strep lol can we start epidemics at school now?

ok question, what is the protocol for pictures of yourself and your at the time sig other? because there are a lot of people whose fb i go through and they are definitely not with that person anymore, but they def still keep the pictures of them together up (i'm included in this category). are you supposed to take them down? is it a case by case thing? lol

also, i was defriended on fb again for no reason…of the two defriends in my entire fb history this girl has df me twice lol. at least the first time i knew why…the second time…yeah not quite sure…

my life is bananas b-a-n-a-n-a-s. haha jk, i'm just watching that episode of The Office and Kelly is amazing heh.

no but really, pretty sure i'm dying, there is a lump on the side of my face that is going to break or something and i'm going to die. i either have strep or mono or death.

I got a new haircut, need to grow into it.

front

side

moved in to wellesley, had a ridiculous time doing it, because my entire family was involved for the first time in two years-jesus. however, having military men move things is much more efficient than little asian girls.

haha for fun, this is a picture of my dad with a beer funnel. how cute and innocent.

ouch. my body is going through too many changes (yes, i'm finally hitting puberty!) I don't know if it's the roadtrip or the medications or what but my entire body aches. I have strange sores in my mouth (ok they're not strange, they're probably just cold sores) that I put Kanka on, which coats my mouth with a film and then i look retarded, and it just doesn't work out, and it is not cute. my body aches. my hair is being a total fuck off. i have to caulk and pack and too many things by tmrw morning.

I lost my ipod in New Jersey, fuck you New Jersey.

I don't really have anything to say, i'm so uncomfortable that i just want to sleep and kill.

fuck it. if i had a lock on my door i'd be dead.

so uh lots of thoughts in no particular order:

I am pretty sure being on the pill has made me gain weight, like, legit. has this happened to anyone else? GOD DAMN YOU OVARIES.

In terms of medication, i'm not sure if i am enjoying life or not, or if celexa is really helping. I am very agitated, however, which is a good sign? because I used to just be like…lalala emo emo i am numb to the WORLD.

I am in the same boat as a lot of people who have moved back “home” only to move back to school. I have stuff packed up, but i need to unpack it, but not all of it, but some of it, but yeah yeah yeah.

I need to clean my room that hasn't been touched in 3 yrs.

I need to clean the attic.

I need to finish scraping the eflourescence shit off of the walls in the basement with my brother.

I am stuck in a weird situation-i am absolutely broke, so i need to work, but i'm scheduled to work on the 19th and 21st, both of which are slightly inconvenient days…

Setting up for the party on Saturday should be ok…but there's a lot of fucking cleaning/moving shit around that needs to be done.

This is a shitty post.

for some reason. i am awake. I don't know what i want to write right now, other than, i am sad i'm not getting all of the Bratz posters. however, i am grateful for getting any at all. oh also, in Rush Hour 3 (don't judge me) the girl Soo Young(sp?) speaks all fob with an accent, even though as a little kid in Rush Hour 1 she speaks normal English? that doesn't even make sense god damn it.

I think i was molested a little last night. I am going to have to review the pictures to confirm. I do remember a hammock breaking, and then a pole going into my back.

I ate way too many pancakes/Chinese food after drank and then needed to puke, but i didn't want to get up to puke, so i slept, instead of puking. then i decided just now to puke, but it had already settled, so only stomach acid came out. god damn it. my teeth/throat hurts.

saw meteors.

can, you just stop now, body? why are you fighting with me?! i am loving you. i dress you nicely. i tan you. ugh i am so HEAVY…is it wrong that i don't want to get a passport until i like the way i look? is that really that wrong? ugh. i hate my hair right now too-i have no idea what to do-to cut or not to cut….

also, edit* a few convos that I've heard in the past couple of days/hours that need to be reiterated:

little girl at the mall: I am NEVER putting it in her mouth again!

Me: Mom, did you steal Alex's cigarettes?
Mom: yeah, he left em in the car.

Alex: give me the phone! Neens, i have a bone to pick with you! you stole my cigarettes!
Mom: you were drunk and stupid.
Alex: good point

Me: mom!
Mom: i told you, you guys-your drunkeness and stupidity would come back to you. and that motherfucker ate my cashews out of the mixed nuts!

Mom: speaking of going in and out, (then something about a penis i don't remember…it was wrong either way)

so creepy realization number 1: i go back to Wellesley in TWO WEEKS. Jesus Christ.

EDIT* to the cop story- he also made me do the alphabet, and specified “WITHOUT SINGING” well GOD DAMN. ALSO, Cheyenne had left an OPEN bottle of peach tree in the backseat, in plain view….that also happened to ruin my new copy of Eeeee Eee Eeee-god damn it.

Creepy realization number 2: you were in my dream last night. you lived right next door. we were both living in a place neither of us actually live in. I was smoking a cigarette on my cement stoop/porch watching you take out the trash, and you said “hey” and I said “hey.” we talked a little bit while you finished taking out the trash, then you went inside, with a big dog, and i was freaked out that i wouldn't see you again, and this was my last chance, i could feel the nervousness. so i yelled “we should hang out sometime” but you had kinda already closed the door, so i felt stupid, then i thought, “maybe she heard me say, 'we should go out sometime'” sure enough you came outside and said “what?” and I tried to play it off as if you were hearing things, then you said “it's too soon” and went back inside.

somehow, i ended up inside with you. your boyfriend came downstairs. Will accused him of drinking his soda. he hadn't drank his soda, but he had stolen his coconut wafers. He started smashing the coconut wafers into tiny little pieces right in front of Will.

then I woke up. can you please stay out of my subconscious now? thanks.

i also had a really weird dream about an lj layout that was like, vector, aquarium, ice cream, retro. it was fly.

work tomorrow, party on the 18th. get ready.